Once again, i hear whispers
from those who mock YOu
Your children, they despise
but they first despised You

Time and again, i hear jokes
about YOu and our faith
it pierced my heart, it broke..
They turn You down, full of hate

Again and again, I hear Your Name
as a sarcasm or a swearing word
They've used It in vain
How shameless, ruthless idiots!

I'm angry Lord, truly am
How am i supposed to love
them! they're mocking You for fame
They're nothing but a nit

But Lord, You've stopped me
from not loving them and
giving up on them and most of all this thought
of leaving them to the prince of all lies

"Though he (those ppl) brings grief, He will show COMPASSION so great is His unfailing love. For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of man" Lamentation 3:32-33

The best is yet to come
brokenness, sorrows and disappointments
NO MORE NO MORE
for Love paid them all

waiting to hear Your voice
surrendered all of me
only to hear Your voice
and to be held by You

You will come
surely, O Prince of Peace
Lover of my soul
i will wait..i will wait

I raised my hands
bowed my head
hoping to touch Your robe
and filled by Your mighty power

AS for me, undeserving
yet so loved
unworthy
yet glorified in You

"For you have been with me from the beginning" John 15:27

i'm not sure how to put this in words but...i'll try

I said: Lord i love You with all my heart..i'll give You my all..my everything..use me Lord!
He said: "If you love me, obey my commandments"

This part reminded me of Jesus' command to His disciples to preach the gospel to every creature

Jesus asked: Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?
Peter answered: Yes, Lord You know i love You
Jesus then said: Feed my lambs
Jesus asked again: Simon son of John, do you love me?
Peter answered the same answer
Jesus then said: Take care of my sheep
Jesus asked for the third time : Simon son of John, do you love me?
Peter then aswered the same answer again
Jesus then said: Feed my sheep

This conversation Jesus had with Peter is as if i'm playing Peter's role in John 21:15-17

I asked: what kind of ministry do You want me to be in Lord..street evangelising? this is SO out of my comfort zone Lord and am i really up to it? DO I REALLY have to tell them about You? i don't think they want to have anything to do with who they so-called the almighty or some"supreme-being-out-there-somewhere"..let alone having a relationship with You..they'll reject You again and again..and it breaks my heart..and Yours too Lord so should we just safely wait for them to search for YOu and then we can tell them about You..?

He said: you must also tell others about me...because you have been with me from the beginning

wow..from the beginning..our purpose..our assignment..was to tell our lost brothers and sisters about HIm..that they have to believe in Jesus in order to come back to where their real home is. i'll try to continue tomorrow..too tired now..ciao

beautiful song by kutless called Jesus Lord of heaven

Jesus Lord of heaven
i did not deserve
the grace You have given
and the promise of Your word

Lord i stand in wonder
of the sacrifice You made
with mercy beyond measure
my debt u paid in pain

Your love is deeper than the ocean
higher than the heavens
reaches beyond the stars in the sky